Right now, right as you are.
I remember the first sign my body was changing as I grew my tiny girl inside my tummy.
Aside from feeling tired and ill (hello all day sickness) I noticed my hips were wider. My face looked fuller. My arms looked bigger. I remember “fearing” the thought of stretch marks. As if having marks on my skin from growing a human being was some sort of curse. I spent hours online throughout my pregnancy, researching ways to prevent stretch marks. Reading review after review of all the creams, oils, and techniques to incorporate into my daily routine.
I guess society really did a number on conditioning me to fear such non-sense. Marked skin seemed to somehow make me feel as though I was no longer as good as before. I tried like heck to avoid them. Yes, I even stayed within the “recommended” weight gain numbers. A whopping 26 lbs was gained during those 9 months and then, one day, towards the end of my pregnancy... there they were. The marks. All over my tummy. Just like that
I must have missed the memo? The one that warns you... “use more cream! We’re on our way!” Looking back now, almost 4 years later, I wish so badly I could go tell my old self how insignificant this all truly was. That so much was about to bloom in the department of true growth. That because I was experiencing these changes in my once, tight, toned, unmarked body, it was about to open the doors to what it meant to truly accept my flaws for how incredible they were. That because experiencing change in any form, is a ticket to growth. The kind of growth that now helps me navigate and thrive in raising a daughter of my own.
A daughter that will someday experience changes in her own body. A daughter that will most likely one day, feel the need to compare herself to someone else. Human nature you could say
I have come to realize that the only way to teach my daughter to fully love and accept herself, is not by telling her to do so. It is not by asking her to do so. But by showing her how to do so.
How do we do that? How do we as mothers
𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚆 our daughters, our sons, how to acknowledge that flaws, differences, marks, scars, shapes, sizes, colors.. are all beautiful? That they are all worthy. And that they are a part of life that truly is what makes us beautiful, unique, individuals?
WE.DO.THE.WORK. We lead by example. We stop the cycle that has been drilled into our own heads decade after decade.
If you take anything away from this, mama.. whether you are a veteran Mom, a Mom to be. Or a one day Mom... or just has a human being for that matter. It should be that your worth isn’t, never has been, and never should be based on your physical shell. You are so much more than your weight, your age, your past, or your flaws. You are beautiful in all stages. You are worthy at any weight. And you are loved in all phases.
We want these things so badly for our children... don’t we? Well, mama... they learn from us. Teach them. Show them. Self-love. ALL love. Right now, right as you are.